Globaliziation means travellings 5,000 miles and still living on the same block as a Domino's

Sometimes globalization can be a good friend to an American tourist, even if he claims to resent it a lot of the time. At other times, however, Americanization hasn’t quite taken hold in India’s third biggest city. So, what exactly can you get in Kolkata with regard to American accoutrements?

You Can Get: Pizza

I’m recovering from being a little sick, and last night I was in the mood for something extremely familiar, so I went over an ordered myself a “Veg Extravaganza” for too many Rupees. It was ok, but for the record, the Domino’s on National Rd. W in Richmond beats the pants of the one in Jodphur Park. I can’t say I’m a fan of corn on my pizza. A variety of other pizza joints litter the northern cities. Even Papa John’s has announced that they’re going to make a foray into the Indian market.

You Can’t Get: McDonalds

I know, right? McDonalds is in every other Indian city, and they advertise their McVeggie heavily on TV, and they have a whole line of McTandoor Chicken Sandwiches, but Kolkata for some reason hasn’t sparked the interest of the big wigs over at Golden Arches Headquarters.

You Can Get: A Cell Phone

Upon landing up at the office, it seemed to me like cell phone usage wasn’t just possible—it was mandatory. The second I arrived (well, the second after they made me buy sandals), the ladies at Vikramshila provided me with an unused handset and marched me over to a little hole in the wall shop, where they gave me some forms and a sim card, and told me to get a copy of my passport and proof of residence in Kolkata to them the next day.

You Can’t Get: A Good Cup of Coffee

You want tea? No problem. There are 3 tea shops on every block, little street-venders that serve wonderful, freshly brewed, wonderful smelling stuff in small ceramic cups that are thrown out after one customer. The tea is great. You want coffee? Don’t bother. They have a kind of instant coffee, but my bourgeois upbringing has made me intolerant of it.

You Can Get: Any Drug You Want

Kolkata is littered with “Druggists” and “Pharmacists” who sit behind counters and dish out antibiotics without a prescription. As a result, everybody is your own personal physician, throwing packets of pills at you willy-nilly the moment you get the slightest bit sick. It makes one glad that one has doctor parents that one can call for a consultation.

You Can’t Get: Toilet Paper

I should clarify; you can get toilet paper, in the sense that it is sold within the city limits. But it is invariably never around when you need it: for example, when you need to poop. Literally, people don’t use it. Mr. Chatterjee, sweet fellow that he is, actually bought me some when I arrived. However, when his wife came home, she set things straight and promptly hid it away. I’m pretty intrigued by her thought process here. Was it, “They can’t actually use that stuff in the US! That’s absurd!” Or was it more, “Not under my roof, he won’t!” Maybe it was just too gross for her to see the roll of toilet paper sitting there in her bathroom. Anyway, I certainly wasn’t consulted, and, as a result, I’ve been making do with the Indian left-hand method.

(Remember—this is a country that eats with its fingers, but only ever with the fingers on the right hand.)

I don’t tell you these things to bemoan the lack of material comforts here in Kolkata—I am, on the whole, extremely comfortable, even in the heat. But it would be flatly false to suggest that, every once in a while, I wouldn’t really like a burrito from La Mexicana, or a bottle of Gatorade.